Alone, Not Forgotten: Changing the Way We Look at Things
Do you ever get that sinking feeling of being alone in life? Like you feel like you have no one, and no matter what you do you can’t kick the feeling? I do, more often than I’d like to admit. Even though I have my daughter, friends and family, I still go through times where I feel so alone. It sometimes feels like you are stuck in a black hole, and you try to climb out but you can’t. You sit back and look at your life and you see all your accomplishments, and relationships you have built over the years, yet you still feel alone. Then the depressing feeling get deeper, and you go over all the things you wish you had done better and all the mistakes you’ve made. You wish you could go back and right all your wrongs and build a better life. I know what you’re thinking “wow that sounds very depressing”, and you’re right, it does. But it’s reality and something most people won’t admit. There are more people than you think that are feeling this way as we speak. If you are one of them, as cliché as it sounds, you’re not alone.
We all feel alone at times. The important fact to remember is, you will eventually climb out of that hole. You absolutely will! You will reach the light at the end of the tunnel. The weight on your back will lift and you will feel lighter. It might seem impossible when you are knee deep in your feelings, to believe things will get better, but they always do. They may not turn out the exact way you want them to, but they turn out the way they are meant to.
We are always wanting for more and striving for more, and although working towards a goal is great, loving where you are is necessary! Accepting where you are in your journey is the beginning of growth. It’s important to learn to accept the trials and tribulations you have endured and grow from those lessons. This is how you move past the times things didn’t workout the way you planned.
The quote I chose for the header of my blog says “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” by Wayne Dyer. There are no truer words. When we feel alone, try changing the way you look at things. That allows us to see the things we missed, and be more present in the moments we would normally let pass because we were so focused our loneliness. Like when we go out for a walk only because we need to walk our dog, we miss all the beauty of mother nature. We miss hearing the birds chirp, the flowers in bloom and the sound of children laughing and playing. We miss the fresh air and all the clarity we gain by seeing the positive in life. As hard as it seems, the fresh air always helps clear the negative thoughts.
For me when I start falling into that black hole of feeling alone, I first try and push it out of my mind. Remember, we are not what we think. We are not all the thoughts that go through our heads. If pushing it out of my mind doesn’t work then I journal. I write my feelings out and most of the time I am able to see where the issue is and I feel better because I identified something that I can work on. If journaling doesn’t get rid of the depressing feelings, I call someone. Mostly a friend or family member and it reminds me that I am not alone and have support when I need it. I understand that not everyone has someone they can call, so please know there are resources out there of places to call and people to talk to when we are feeling down. Exercise is another tactic that helps get rid of the sad feelings. Exercise gets your blood flowing and releases all the happy hormones everyone’s always talking about haha!
These are all great steps to help work through feelings of being alone. The key is to take action. It is always okay to sit with our emotions and give ourselves space to feel, although once we have had the time to process we must get up and move. We must change the way we are looking at things and move forward. Always remember, you got this!
