Why Therapy?
Therapy... such a taboo word isn’t it? What many people don’t know is that therapy is an absolute life changer. At times seeking therapy can mean the difference between life or death. Everyone can use therapy in their life.
Let me share a story about how therapy helped me leave an unhealthy relationship. I had been with my ex boyfriend for a long, long time. We have a daughter together and she was 1-years-old at the time. I remember feeling alone and not knowing what to do about how I felt about our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a bad person, we were just not meant to be together and I didn’t realize that until I saw my therapist. I remember trying and trying to make things work and they always came crashing down. Until one day, 10 years ago and I remember it so vividly. I had been constantly asking her what I should do and you know what she said? She gave me a scenario to think about. She said “If you had to create a movie of your life, think about all the people in your movie. Is he in your movie?” And of course my answer was yes! Then she asked “Do you think you would be in his movie?”.... Moral of the story is, I did not. I did not believe I would be in his movie. And right there was the moment I knew what to do. Obviously it wasn’t that cut and dry and I didn’t go home and pack my bags. I did, however, do some serious soul searching, and it gave me a chance to really ask myself if I wanted to try this hard for someone that wouldn’t even have me in his movie. I knew I was more important than that and ultimately made the right decision.
I cannot tell you how many people I have convinced to see a therapist and they all (and I mean all), come back and tell me how much better they feel. I have helped countless friends, patients and families of patients get past their fears of seeing a therapist. The most common excuses I heard are, “I don’t need a therapist” or “What can a therapist do for me” or “I don’t even know what I would talk about”. See that’s the thing, there is no right or wrong when it comes to therapy. Therapy is different for everyone and is such an individualized experience.
According to the Collins English Dictionary, a “therapist” is defined as "a person who is skilled in a particular type of therapy." The main word here being “skilled”. Therapists are skilled in helping people overcome just about any problem. Think about it, when we have a cold, who do we go to? We go to a doctor right? Well why? Because they are skilled in treating people with certain physiological illnesses. Then why when we are having a psychological issue and in need of help, why don’t we go see a therapist who is skilled in this area?
So many of us have grown up to think that if we need to see a therapist that means there is something wrong with us. In reality, if we don’t see a therapist during a time of need, we will most certainly end up with something wrong with us. When we don’t know how to process a certain emotion, or work through a tough personal situation, we end up stuck and frustrated and it can end up affecting not only ourselves, but the people around us. The more we hold on to what is bothering us or what is going on in our lives, the harder it is for us to move on in our lives. It’s like we get blocked from growing and we get stuck in a hole that we are trying to pull ourselves out from. So why not ask for help from people who are skilled in helping you through this exact situation you are facing?
My favorite part of therapy is, they are probably the only non-biased person you will ever talk to. They are trained to sit and listen and help you see things you may be missing, or give you suggestions on how to overcome tough situations, or even show you ways to work with the difficult emotions you may be feeling. And the best part of it all, they don’t have an opinion on the matter. They are not judging you or thinking you are a bad person for having a specific feeling about something. They are not giving you their opinion on a matter, they are just helping you work through it yourself. They are only there to share their expertise on human behavior. They spent countless hours in school just to be able to help YOU! Yes YOU! And all of us!
My mother passed away 2 years ago, at 59 years old. My daughter was 9 at the time and she and my mother were best friends! My daughter was devastated when she passed and still to this day struggles with it. I made the decision to take my daughter to see a child therapist for the first time, and she loved it! She loved the fact that it was confidential and she was able to tell the therapist anything and everything, and no one would know. The therapist was very good at asking questions to help her process her feelings, and then knowing when not to push. What I love about this the most is that my daughter may not go to therapy forever, but when she gets older and is dealing with a difficult chapter in her life, she will not be afraid to ask for help and work through it with a therapist.
So please, for me, make the jump and find yourself a therapist. Even if you feel like everything in your life is great, it can’t hurt to find a therapist so you have an outlet for when tough times rear their ugly head. The first step is:
Check out your insurance and see if there are therapists in your area accepting new patients
If you don’t have insurance or don’t want to use your insurance, search therapists on yelp and do some research
It is totally normal to find a therapist, see them for the first time and decide they are not for you. Don’t get discouraged. Look for another one, and when you find your person, you will know. You will immediately feel comfortable and supported.
Leave me a comment below if you have other questions regarding the therapy process. Remember, you got this!
